We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
