Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
