My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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