So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
