Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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