..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
