Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
