Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There's even glitter on my cock...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
