38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
