I seem to have left my pride at pride
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
