if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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