i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
