what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize