Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
