Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
