bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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