Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
