I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
