oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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