So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
