and i looked up. we had an audience...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
