OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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