Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
