Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
