D3 body, D1 cock
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
