"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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