I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
