Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
