Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
