So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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