Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
wow bdsm is so cute
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