I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
