True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
