Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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