i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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