omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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