You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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