this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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