You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
