This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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