I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
