You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
