Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
