Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
