I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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