Screwed.edu
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
