I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
