when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
