There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i love accidental penises.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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