I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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