Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
