you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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