Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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