"it" just moved
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So here I am, sexting at work.
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