This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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