So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
